For Me to Poupon
This is the story of what happens when people stop being polite, and start being nerdy.
Art only tumblr is over here.
Personal twitter was last spotted over there
- Jade: Clearly you need a party and tactics. ANDERS, GO MOVE THAT COUCH.
- Poupon: he'll be too busy staring at the ceiling fan and making me uncomfortable.
- Jade: Merrill would accidentally cut herself and get blood magic everywhere. Imagine the mess.
- Poupon: Fenris won't be a help either, since he's yet to unpack his corpses and shit from moving into his mansion.
- Poupon: Varric and Aveline would probably be okay with helping out but the height difference would make group efforts a problem
- Jade: Well Varric could put things on lower shelves! Having to constantly bend down is kind of a pain, so I think it works out.
- Poupon: Sebastian would probably be all eager to volunteer but be absolutely incompetent at physical labor
- Poupon: While they were out Flemeth brought dragonfruit!
- Poupon: it was a great housewarming until she also started eating the guests
- Poupon: Some frat fuck named Alistair came in and ate all the shit out of the refrigerator before we could even plug it in.
- Poupon: You know what? No joke, Sten and Aveline would be like the dream team of moving buddies.
- Poupon: Anders got cat fur all over the couch but the weird thing is he hasn't had a cat for months
- Poupon: shale would be useless. you tell her to help move something and she'll be all YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME then she'd break you in .5
- Poupon: YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU AREN'T MY CONTROL ROD DAD
- Poupon: you have to keep an eye on Fenris because if you turn your back on him too long he's going to start peeing in the houseplants
- Poupon: they don't teach slaves how to use the toilet
- Jade: Bethany and Carver would help (Carver would complain the whole time), but then they'd get badly hurt and have to leave.
- Jade: They'd come back when your jerk neighbor the Arishok comes in to wreck some shit.
- Jade: But then they'd leave again and wouldn't come back until the very end. SUPER HELPFUL, YOU GUYS.
- Jade: Isabela would help a little but spend most of the time on the couch, getting incredibly drunk.
- Jade: In Unpacking: Origins, some asshole named Duncan burst into the house with some drink called The Joining and no one remembers anything after that.
- Jade: Morrigan came in and helped a little for a while but then demanded you or Alistair have sex with her.
- Jade: And then she left before you woke up and stole all the money out of your wallet (and your toaster too).
- Jade: Meredith would be your nosy neighbor who keeps calling the police for no reason.
- Jade: Her roommate Orsino seems like a cool dude, but then he turns out to actually be kind of terrible.
- Jade: The Grand Cleric is a super nice old lady down the hall, up until Anders accidentally sets fire to her apartment.
- Jade: (Sebastian doesn't help moving after that)
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